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Being an Aussie

What it means to be an Australian ………….

  • You believe the ‘l’ in the word ‘Australia’ is optional.
  • You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
  • You understand that ‘Wagga Wagga’ can be abbreviated to ‘Wagga’ but ‘Woy Woy’       can’t be called ‘Woy’.
  • You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
  • You understand what no wucking furries means.
  • You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
  • You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
  • You know hardly anything about the Constitution and what it actually contains.
  • You can’t remember past the second line of the national anthem, let alone the second verse
  • Snow is always a memorable and freakish occurrence.
  • "Australian" is pronounced with one syllable.
  • You can’t understand why overseas people who supposedly speak the same language have great difficulty comprehending you.
  • You’d be shocked by the idea of anyone wearing "thongs" on something other than their feet.
  • "Stubbies" are either short shorts or small beer bottles, a small car accident is a "bingle", a "drongo" or a "mug" is an idiot, someone in trouble is in "strife" and you’re liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something
  • “o” is a popular ending for words: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, Salvos, servo, smoko, speedo, etc.
  • Although you do say "g’day" and "mate", rarely would you ever say things such as "sheila", "cobber" or "dry as a dead dingo’s donger"
  • The month always comes second: 26/1/88. (And you know what happened on that date).
  • The decimal point is a dot. NOT a comma.
  • Once you’re introduced to anyone you can call them by their first name.
  • You know who the first American President was but not the first Australian Prime Minister. You don’t really know what happened in Federation.
  • You seriously expect to be able to transact business with the government without paying bribes.
  • Your country has never been conquered by a foreign nation (you don’t count 1788).
  • You measure things in metres, kilograms and litres, unless you are over about 60.
  • Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
  • And…………..

  • Only in Australia… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • Only in Australia … do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • Only in Australia … do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
  • Only in Australia … do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
  • Only in Australia … do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
  • Only in Australia … do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
  • Only in Australia … are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
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  1. muscat55
    April 3, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    I didn’t know whether to hang my head in shame or laugh, so I laughed! I live in the high country, so snow is a normal winter occurrence, (and we do have a greater area of snow in Australia in winter than they have in Switzerland

    I knew that interesting fact but try and convince the Poms or Yanks.

  2. thomashouseman
    April 3, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    Drop bears for the win!

    How could I forget them!

  3. june in florida
    April 3, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    Your second paragraph should read “Only in Australia and America”.

  4. John Quelch
    April 7, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    ”You seriously expect to be able to transact business with the government without paying bribes” Any Asian reading this would be amazed. A really important point of difference and one that I hope survive time. Dob bait Jnr,

    Comments now cost $5. Thank you. The Management.

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