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Blah, Blah

I just got back from the doctors today and have been diagnosed with moderate acanthosis, orthokeratosis, parakeratosis, with a thickened granular and focal mild spongiosis and lymphocytic inflammatory infiltration with scattered eosinophilis and the most likely differential diagnoses includes seborrhoeic keratosis or lichenified nodule.

I’m grabbing some rope and off to find the nearest sturdy tree!

I didn’t make that up! That’s the referral note he gave me for the specialist. It would take me 6 years of medical school just to learn what those words meant.  I guess an IQ of more than my 25 would help.

As a few of my long term readers would probably know, I’ve had a few skin cancers removed from various parts of my body in the past.  Notably my face and back that have had more stitches than a bootmakers shop.

Unfortunately,my poor English pallor wasn’t made for this harsh Aussie sun and a smidgen of neglect in my misspent youth didn’t help either.   I could quote chapter and verse to the youth of today about the perils of solar radiation but they’d wouldn’t hear a thing wearing those white ear plugs.

This time, I developed a strange lump on my forehead and a biopsy diagnosed the above waffle and I’m leaving it up to the surgeon to slash off in a couple of weeks.

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  1. Muppet's Mum
    August 31, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    That’ll teach ya to sunbathe with baby oil all over your face! Oops, I think that was me! So, more frankenstein impersonations coming up then?

    Afraid so.

  2. june in florida
    September 1, 2009 at 2:17 am

    I have heard of weight loss programs but getting pieces chopped off is a bit extreme. Your doc must have been having a slow day to take time to come up with all those “osis’s”. Damn it DB will you take care of yourself.

    June – I think he was glad the biopsy report came to him via the internet and he just had to print it out. Imagine having to write it out!

  3. AZ
    September 1, 2009 at 9:23 am

    I looked up the first two words of your diagnosis and I haven’t the slightest notion what’s the matter with you, other than it’s a skin condition, by the way readers I would not suggest Googling “skin conditions” before dinner because the pictures are creepy and scary. I for one am built for sun exposure, I rarely burn, I just keep getting a darker shade of brown, not always a good thing in Arizona because of attitudes toward illegal aliens from Mexico.

    AZ – It’s not a skin condition but a small growth on my forehead. It’s been going up and down in size and about mid way at the moment. It looks a bit like a wart but the biopsy was inconclusive. When I was a kid, I had warts over my hands and my mother had an old wives tale that rubbing beef into warts gets rid of them. I started working in a butchers shop after school cutting up meat, making sausages and knocking the brains out of sheep’s head and in 3 months the warts were gone. Some poor suckers got extra protein.

    I rarely burn either and just getting brown can start those cancer molecules dancing

  4. September 1, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Eww.. sounds nasty. Are you sure you’re not making all those long words up? Thank goodness I never went in for medical training, I’d never be able to pronounce all that stuff, let alone spell it.
    With my red hair and freckles I just turn into one huge freckle when I stay in the sun too long. But growing up in England, there was never too much danger of severe sunburn…. more danger of growing webbed feet.

    Shammy – Nope. With your complexion, you’d need to cover up well here.

    • September 1, 2009 at 12:38 pm

      I wonder what the medical term for that is???

      Syndactyly

      Thank goodness for the internet

      • thomashouseman
        September 2, 2009 at 8:08 am

        I had a friend born with that. Pretty cool actually… he always swam faster than me… grrgh!

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